Help Your Wife to Be a Pleasant Companion
Fill her primary need in a companion
A woman needs conversation. She enjoys it for its own sake, as an end in itself. When you were dating, you probably talked to each other for hours. Chances are that these were times she really enjoyed and will always remember. You were the same non-talkative person back then, but you talked with her because you found her interesting, you wanted to win her heart, and you wanted to find out what her needs were so you could meet them. The same motivations will work for you now. If you talk to her now like you did then, you can win her heart again. As you become her dream companion, she will be better motivated to become yours as well.
Give a little more appreciation
If she complains a lot and looks pitiful, she may be trying to get you to acknowledge her difficulties and hard work. Acknowledge those with plenty of sincere verbal appreciation. Build her up by telling her how wonderful you think she is, what a caring mother and talented wife she is, how exciting her voice is, etc. A woman who feels good about herself and loved by her man will be naturally inclined to forget about her needs and focus more on his.
When she behaves better, give her even more appreciation. Tell her immediately how much you are enjoying the time with her. Later you can show her how much you appreciate her by doing something extra special for her. This is called positive reinforcement, and it works wonders.
When she spends time with you doing things you enjoy, whether it is shooting baskets, visiting the hardware store, or talking, thank her, and tell her how nice it is to have her company.
Get some new hobbies with her
Find or develop with her a long list of recreational activities. Make a short list of ten that you enjoy or would like to try, and have her do the same. Check your lists to see if you have an interest in common and pursue it together. If your lists are completely different, trade lists and each of you choose a recreational activity from the other’s list. Learn about these two hobbies together, then plan time to do them together. Follow through.
Tell her you love her
A woman needs to hear her man say “I love you” at least three times a day. She needs to hear it to believe it. By hearing it often enough, she will feel more loved. As she feels love, she will be more inclined to make life pleasant for her lover.
My husband lives for himself. Our companionship is almost nil. it has gotten to the point that I have created my own life and am not unhappy about that except when he makes sexual demands on me which i cannot reciprocate due to physical (am 66) and emotional reasons. (Years of being neglected.) Divorce is out of the question financially.