Meet Your Wife’s Need for Companionship
First, read about the need for companionship if you have not done so already.
Be optimistic and cheerful when you are with her, and always speak to her in a friendly manner. Lose your habit of always having to be right in your discussions with her, and try to be pleasant instead.
Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” – she always called me Elwood – “In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me.—Jimmy Stewart in Harvey
Give her 30 minutes a day
A woman typically has a greater need for conversation than a man does. It is one of her principle needs in a companion. Frequent conversation will help her to feel psychologically connected to you. Make the effort to meet that need through pleasant conversation with her. Listen attentively without interrupting while she is speaking. She probably enjoys conversation for its own sake, as an end in itself. When you were dating, you probably talked to each other for hours. Chances are that these were times she really enjoyed and will always remember. You were the same non-talkative person back then, but you talked with her because you found her interesting, you wanted to win her heart, or you wanted to find out what her needs were so you could meet them. Be her dream man again by doing the same now. She needs to have a pleasant conversation with you, without distractions, for at least 30 minutes every day. A woman who does not get such quality conversation with her man may resort to nagging and faultfinding in an attempt to meet this need on at least a rudimentary level. Fill her need for conversation, and you will likely find that she becomes less inclined to nag and upbraid you.
Listen
You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately. Look at her eyes while you are listening to her. Don’t interrupt. She will appreciate your undivided attention. Don’t try to find faults in what she is saying. Rather, try to find agreement and connection.
Listening can pay great dividends. If you listen, she will talk. Talking gives her pleasure. Feeling pleasure in your presence will give her warm feelings for you. Her warm feelings for you will make her want to be patient with you and nice to you.
Open up a little
When you talk to her, don’t be afraid to let your feelings show a little. But be careful to always be pleasant in your language.
Talk her line
Make an effort once in a while to talk about things that interest her.
Play games
Board games. Choose one she can win. Get out the chips and dip and enjoy an hour or so together.
Make her laugh
A man who is too serious isn’t much fun, and may even be scary to a woman. Make her laugh. Have fun together. Laughter is an ice breaker, even in marriage.
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.—Victor Borge
