Meet Your Husband’s Need to Feel Cherished
First, read about the need to feel cherished if you have not done so already.
Just remember that no matter how hard your husband’s exterior, inside is a little boy who needs to be treated tenderly. Even though he may not show it like you do, he is hurt by sharp words and hard feelings. Tender treatment from you will help to soften his rough exterior.
Make him your highest priority
Being your highest priority means that you have a sincere regard for his happiness, and you make his feelings more important than those of your friends, your mother, your co-worker, a stranger, etc. Try to limit any socializing with others that might exclude him to time when you are apart anyway, whether it be going out to lunch with girlfriends or talking on the phone with your sister. Save as much of your time together as you can for him. You want to be your man’s highest priority. Show him how it’s done.
Be a true friend
When your husband realizes that you are watching out for his feelings, then he can put down his defenses and weapons and start watching out for yours. Selfishness kills romance. A constant and fervent regard for your mate’s happiness helps romance grow. Be responsible, pleasant, honest, patient, and careful with his feelings. Never put him down, even in a joking manner. Be on his side. Pull with him, not against him. Find ways to show him how much you cherish him that he understands, and do those things for him. Assume the best about his motives — not the worst. Believe that he is a good person who wants to do right by you. Then make it a little easier for him to do so.
Shower him with attention
Kids need it. Men do, too. Daily positive personal attention shows that you cherish him. Give him the attention he truly craves. Although it is fine to buy him flowers, recognize it may not go as far towards helping him feel cherished as some new lingerie modeled for him will. Sincerely compliment him — often. Sincerely express your appreciation for the big and little things he does — and do it often. Show him you love him — passionately, and often.
Shock and Awe
Surprise him with some kissing, fondling or other passionate attention when he least expects it.
Listen with your heart
Make sure that your man can sense that you understand, or are truly trying to understand, what he thinks and feels, and that you respect his opinion, even though you may not agree with it. Respecting his opinion means not belittling it or dismissing it out of hand. If he feels that you truly value his viewpoint and want to work with him, he will be much more likely to listen to your ideas. Try not to interrupt with advice before he is ready to listen.
Don’t try to fix his feelings. If you think he is overreacting to some situation, never criticize his emotions. This will only make him feel defensive, misunderstood, and unloved. Instead, acknowledge the reality of his fear, pain, disappointment, or whatever feelings he has. Once you have acknowledged those feelings and shown understanding, he will be better able to leave the negative feelings behind.
Give him a hand
Be available to help with his projects around the house. If he would prefer to do them alone, support him by keeping distractions away and bringing him a snack or glass of water when he’d like one. Service produces feelings of love and appreciation in the giver as well as the receiver. If you are having a hard time feeling love for your man, then sacrifice some time and energy for him. Your feelings will follow your actions.
